Topic Of The Week...08/15/14

Welcome to this week's "let's Talk About"

With me your wonderful host... Miss Lynn!.

This weeks topic...which actually is our very first topic is....,

HOMEWRECKER'S!

Image not mine

Yes I said homewreckers.

Now why would such a topic interest me?

well I'll tell you all about that in a few moments.

First, what is the definition of the "Homewrecker",

so most of us pretty much know what we call a homewrecker...

But I decided to look on line and found Wikipedia actually has one...hmm.

So,    Here is the exact definition that I found written,..

Just a reminder folks the following paragraphs were not written by me and are 

the property of WIKIPEDIA.  All rights and ownership belong to them. 

"Homewrecker"

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For other uses, see Homewrecker (disambiguation).

"A homewrecker (sometimes styled as home wrecker or home-wrecker) is a person, object or activity that causes the breakup of a marriage (or similar partnership), or comes close to doing so. The homewrecker is said to have taken one of the spouses away from the marriage, "wrecking" the marital home.

Most commonly, the label "homewrecker" is applied to a person having an affair with someone else's spouse or domestic partner;  It can also refer to other forces that that are destructive to a marital relationship and tied only to one party to that relationship."

Well... that is pretty right on the dot if you ask me.

Homewreckers are people or objects that interfere negatively on a relationship.

But in most cases it is not a object but a person, Male or female alike.

So What "I".. am focusing on today is the human side of the homewrecker.

Many of us ask the very same question, whether you are the victim of the affair,

apart of the affair or, just someone who is curious.

we all ask this,... WHY DO THEY DO IT?

Now I know some of you are like,  well it takes two to tango, and of course it does.

Let me state my opinion for a minute....

 wait.. This is my blog after all so of course i can!

ha ha anyways as I was saying,

my opinion about this is,

Men (sorry guys),   Men are primal dummies.

There I've said it!

But wait and listen before you get all mad with me,

It's true for most men "the good ones and the bad",   they all have this certain trait,

where the mind shuts down and the logic, morals,  gets thrown right out the window.

What I mean is whether they pre planned the affair or its "completely by accident".....right?...

  

They don't think at all and from experience, apparently they can go all night long 

without thinking about what there actually doing and who they are betraying.

Wow huh.

They are just as much at fault still.  Fortunately some men can actually resist this!

So ladies if you find one like that DO NOT LET GO! ha ha.

Now as for us women,... We KNOW BETTER!.

Yes that's right, we all know better. why?

well unlike men (sorry again boys) we think before we act, and i mean we really think about everything before we act.

what will happen?, what will be the consequence to doing this?

Do I want this?, blah blah blah..you get what I'm saying.

Heck! we do this for everything, while we eat, sleep, talk, walk, play, EVERYTHING!.

because of knowing this, all this means is that when we make the choice to do something,  Chase after a man married, single, whatever, We have already thought about it all.

So we "know" what we are doing, and while we are even doing "it"..

So really, If a women...well I cant even call anyone like that a woman, goes after or sleeps with your man, she had already prepared for this and planned to continue.

Now in some cases and i mean a few, us girls may actually just act right in the moment when we do something like "sleep with someone".

But I believe that we cant help but think about are actions and feel like crap after we do them. 

But there are some medical illnesses that can interfere with that part of the brain, but that normally is for your emotional points, which may possibly effect your decision making.

I'm not fully sure how that all works but I know that my illness does effect my emotions and how I feel.

ALSO! once a man starts, he generally wont stop unless something stops him.

where us girls can stop at any moment and say "NO".

We are logically thinking, which in my opinion, makes us women the main ones to take the fault.

Why Missy are you bashing your own gender? 

Ha ha, well someone has to tell the truth! even if it sucks to hear.

Anyways as to why I've picked such a nice topic today...

My husband cheated on me with my sister in law's sister......

yes its exactly as I wrote.

Well you can already just guess how screwed up that one is ha ha.

So myself,  I blame him..BUT! I blame her more.

Because of the exact reason I wrote above,  we are not stupid,

 "WE KNOW BETTER!".

Now back to the question of... why these "homewreckers" may do what they do.

On another article I found which I find to help make some sense into the whole abyss of confusion we face,  talks about some of the things that may be going on with the "other person".

Again any paragraphs below are not my own. 

It is written by:  Cathy Meyer.  and if you would like to read the full article,

Here's the link: http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/theothermanotherwoman/a/othemanotherwoman.htm

Selfishness:

This is a very selfish person, one who wants what they want and puts no thought into the damage he/she does to those they have to harm to get what they want. A selfish person puts their needs before those of others.

If the selfish person meets a man or woman, who is married with children, they put no thought into the needs of the spouse and children of the marriage. Men and women who become involved with a selfish person are blinded by the attention and fail to realize that as with anyone else, this person is incapable of caring about them or anyone else for that matter.

Lacks Empathy:

When a person is empathetic they are able to “walk a mile” in another person’s shoes. In other words, they have the ability to share and experience the feelings of others. If your friend’s father passes away, you feel pain for your friend. You don’t feel the same pain your friend feels but you hurt because your friend is hurting.

When someone who lacks the ability to feel empathy wants your husband or wife, they may know that their actions are hurtful but they don’t feel any reciprocal emotion or sympathy.

Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissist lack the ability to empathize with others. If your husband or wife becomes involved with someone who is unable to feel empathy, that person may be so damaged that your pain brings him or her pleasure. There are some who seek out married people for the thrill of it. Just to know that their action brings harm to others “gets them off.”

They aren’t concerned with your spouse…there is no love there. Just a desire to feed what they feel they have a right to.

Lack of Morals:

Most of us have a code of conduct we live by. Through society, family of origin, religion and our own consciousness we define what we feel to be right and wrong behavior and do our best to live up to that definition. We don’t rob banks because we know it is morally wrong. We don’t slap small children because we know it is morally wrong.

Without morals, a person can’t feel a sense of moral responsibility. The person may have no defined sense of right and wrong. They may have defined moral beliefs that tell them that infidelity is acceptable. What they feel is morally acceptable differs greatly with what most of society feels is morally acceptable. They have the ability to feel sorry for the person they harm but don’t feel they are responsible for that person’s pain.

Lack of morals is a “get out of jail free” card. Just with a lack of empathy, this person may be a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist or someone we, in our own moral beliefs define as a “bad person.” However we define them and they define themselves, their actions can and do cause others great harm.

I hope this helps anyone who is also interested as to why what happens, happens.

But PLEASE! please do remember that it is still the both parties involved that are to blame,  and you or your friend "the victim", are not at fault.

If you plan to work on the relationship still, like I am doing right now,

good going!  and keep at it till all else fails.

Image not mine

Remember, we can forgive the spouse, but we don't have to forgive and forget.

Or forgive the other person, especially if the other person is a female ha ha...

Come on girls, that is actually a compliment to us!.

Anyways that's all for,  

"Let's Talk About".

Thanks so much for reading and please don't be shy, write whatever you want in the comments below, or even follow me. and thanks again WIKIPEDIA for the great info and  Cathy Meyer,  who wrote the article about why the other one slept with your spouse.

From, Miss Lynn to you... see you in the Next one!

xoxo