Topic Of The Week 08/21/2014

                     Welcome to this week's                    "Let's Talk About"

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For this week's topic,  I had a few different ideas that came to mind.

I finally decided on a more personal topic that has, and is still effecting myself and many others in our world today.  So without anymore delay, The topic is..

... JUDGEMENT...

 Now before I get into this I want to describe what I actually mean when I say judgement.

  First,  There is many types of forms called judgement.

 And I'm sure I don't need to describe them all so I'll only list a few just to show you..

 Judgement given by authority for a crime or incident..

Being judged for a contest or event etc..

And judgement of yourself and of others.
 So can you guess which type of judgement I will be writing about today?

   If you guessed the last one on the list then you are right!! 

 So now that we are at the right page, lets get started!

The way "I" see the world is that there is two types of judging. One side which I will remind everyone "we all have"  is, judging of ourselves.

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 We are constantly judging who we are, what we look like, our personality, our very being.

And this does not stop! whether you are a child to a full grown adult The act of judging ourselves never stops.

For myself, this happens constantly,

  I am always thinking about who I am or  how I look,and so on.

 But don't get the wrong idea here, Judging ourselves is not always a bad thing.. depending on how you view it at the time.

Judging is also a way to evaluate ourselves on where we stand, and can create opportunities and even goals to work toward.

 example: I am judging myself on my health , or I am evaluating myself on how dependent I have become on someone.

Now in a good way this can turn into, I need to make a new plan to become healthier and, I will set a goal to become more independent and stronger.

 See...It's not always a bad thing. 

 So the act of judging ourselves and how we perceive it, all depends on how we feel at the time, our own state of mind controls how we think of ourselves. 

Now the next type that we all have inside ourselves, even if we are not always aware of it...

The judgement of others. 

Now this type is actually a bit more tricky.....NOT! ..  that is wrong so let me clear the air. 

This type of action is no different then the previous one.

It all depends on our own feelings about someone.

Okay, so how can I explain this so it makes sense to all of you.. 

Just as there is a good side to judging, there is also a bad side..just as before.

Now we as people judge everyone around us subconsciously and sometimes on purposely. 

and here is a example of good judgment,

"I think her hair looks amazing!, and I think he looks happier with that girl instead of the other...I hope your keeping up with my wacky mind, it sounds better in my head.

So yeah, there are many ways we judge others in a good way.

But, as many as there are positive, there is negative ones too.

Another example: They eat way to much how can they live like that! and,  I am much better then she is so her man should be mine!.....hmm my minds drifting on another topic of mine...sorry sorry... 

Another one which hits home for me is, being judged by those close to you.

They seem to constantly judge you on how better they are and how annoying I am,

and the best one of all....Judging me for my past ways. 

Well...I know I wasn't the golden child or a great teenager and I'm sure I didn't leave a great impression on people at the beginning but, I change..people all change, some for the better and some for the worse. 

For me it was a complicated situation, I was socially impaired, had issues making others understand me, and opened my big wide mouth more then I should have.

However...I also didn't always have control of my actions, and emotions like others did. 

But at that time in my life I thought it was just me and I was just a "B" and selfish....

So time passes and I've grown up and still.. I cant seem to control how I respond to others especially when I'm provoked. 

Well now I'm at the present and I know that it isn't always my fault, and as long as nothing is stressing me out or making my emotions do a 360 in my chest then I'm generally a great person to be around, at least i believe this to be true.... 

But even though they know of my "condition" they all judge me any ways in a negative way.

Like another example: I talk to much, My voice is high pitched, I'm opinionated, and a emotional crybaby when it comes to being hurt or well anything! 

I grew up also believing that the truth was the right way, It is better for people to tell you to your face the problem they have then behind your back, and I always looked at others believing that no matter how bad they may act there is something still worth caring for inside.  

Here's the sad part about all those examples....They are all true! 

Yes completely true... 

I go through this everyday the negative acts of judging, and by my closest people too...

My in laws... okay we all have those in laws right?

well there's the normal judgement and there's the really bad kind,

and that's where i stand with my "other" family. 

I have told them, I am not someone who wants to fight, get angry blah blah blah...

And when it comes down to big plans like going out or going somewhere...They will not most of the time, include me... in fact they include my husband and or my kids in these things but most the time this is what I hear.... "we don't want you around because you embarrass us or you always get mad and blow a lid if for instance...my husband is being hit on etc.. 

Now to be clear here, I never have acted out unless I've been pushed to a point where I can no longer control it.

That just shows how far I've come since ten years ago.. the only difference though is I've only learned how to hold it in to a certain degree. 

I'm still learning, so why do you judge me based on my past self and not on the better person i am becoming?

Wow..I must be dragging everyone down by now reading this ha ha. 

I really am sorry if this makes you feel bad, I just wish to tell my version on judging That i personally go through and have seen others go through.

 I am not the only one out there being criticized and humiliated all because of what others judge us by. 

.......In the end though, there is nothing we can do about how we are seen. 

but! we can continue to positively evaluate ourselves to be better then yesterday and the day after... and maybe those who seem to be in a rut of there gruesome judgement about us will start to realise how wrong they really are, and we are not what they make us out to be!. 

The point to this topic today was to make everyone aware of how we perceive ourselves and others.. and hopefully those who read this may come to understand not only themselves better, but the way they view others.. when they bring there negative thoughts upon us. 

We can make a difference! It just takes giving the chance to try.... and WOW! I said judge alot through this didn't I! sorry about that..

 

Thank you so much for reading this week's let's talk about!  and please feel free to comment rate whatever you wish about this post and any others on my blog.

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And remember....no one is perfect we are all flawed, trying to be greater then ourselves of yesterday...

From Miss Lynn to you...see you in the next one 

                  xoxo